Форум на Мурмане

The chef had been preparing the meal already for three hours and the kitchen was steaming out from the dark doorway, between the steel frames.
The helper was watching him move with quick moves between table, filled with messy left-over food and mash, and stove, picking up pots and lids and small pinches of powders and spices.
Odour was spread from the pots rising and along the ceiling out to windy dark night.
“Is it starting to be ready?” In his mind he rephrased the question, but then looked into the dark to waves white tops, knowing he wouldn’t ever have the courage to ask it out loud.
He looked at his cigarettes glowing end and flipped it which made it glow even more red.
The chef would not fit in there with him.
Not any more, it was almost ready and the fine finishing touches were only to be done. Then it would be ready and he had to serve it, carry it up and serve and the chef would sit on the deck, sat quietly, and he should not be touched before the morning started to dawn and then he would go to bed being so drunk that he could not be waken before evening, when new meat was to be collected from the cooler downstairs. He dread that moment, that visit down there, where nobody moved and where path's were silent and empty and electric lights burned so bright humming in the silence. That room, that space. Meat was hanging in the hooks and they were skinned right out of their skin.
Those terrible eyes white and blue looking up to ceiling and when you touched them and...
He inhaled the last drag and flipped the cigarette to the scum's of the ocean, whilst the ship was rushing over the rolling waves big and alive.
Chef turned to see him and his bloody eyes watched for a moment staring and intense.
“What the HELL are you looking at?”
Man turned to look at the sea and then came inside.
“Is it ready?”
“Yeah SATAN, and you better take them quick, we’re nearly late already.”
He started to pour the liquid seeing in kettles and plumbing bits to bowls which were side by side on the table.
They filled up and man watched beside smelling the odour and hated himself because he was pleased to sense it.
And knew that if he had to do the same what the chef did, he would have probably already drank himself to death.
He left carrying two bowls up to the deck and up the stairs to the dining room, which was cleared to the highest viewing deck where a great big table was and filled up the room with windows as walls. Through the window he could saw the dark room and the dark figures and the wind was blowing his hair to his eyes and all he could saw was the door which had to be opened and the burning eyes, open mouths he had to face.
He manages to open the door and enters by holding he’s feet against the door and steps to the table.
Closing door behind takes all the noise with and the bowls are already on the table before he notices the attention of all those dark figures sitting around the table.
Eyes and mouths, pleased sound, from nowhere.
“There is a proposition.
50 000 for an alive limb, if somebody is willing...” Someone says it, one of them. Man turns around and opens the door against the wind, forcing, and he can’t hear anything else, the wind covers it all and slam’s the door shut.

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He watches the rising sun and the waves change into a Wave, which is smooth and which the ship splits with sharp fore ahead.
A bottle switches from hand to hand and they keep on looking into different directions, bent and very tired.
That probably is the intention too, man thinks, no need to think. Just to fall asleep and wake up still drunk and quick task and again forget.
“Listen” man says looking at the stooped figure which has lost its worst irritation, unattainable it still is but he is used to it.
“I heard an offer today, suppose it was the first time ever they talk whilst I were around.” Figure stays still and keeps on watching away ”Said to one another and everybody,“ man quiets down ”probably they knew that I’d tell, obvious it is, it is so weird.
That if we find somebody willing, they have an offer;
50 000 for a living limb.
I mean to a man who allows to cook a meal from himself.” Chef spits and gets up to lean on the railing. “What the hell are you talking about?” He glances towards the prow switching legs and spitting again. “From an arm or a leg. Suppose everybody would sooner give an arm, I don’t know." Man remains thinking.
“I would. Anyway for a limb to make it a meal.”
Chef keeps on looking the sea in front of him “Who said that to you?”
“One of them today when I was serving the soup.
Not so much to me but to everybody. They meant it, they are waiting.”
“For an arm, huh?” The Chef turns around and looks at him.
“Oh, loniless” He lifts his hands in front of his face and looks at the man sitting on the deck through them. “Ha, ha, ha, oh ten years, doesn't that stinking meat no longer be enough for them? Beast's, that’s what they are!”
Man watches the chefs sweaty, dirty shirt and bearded face turned towards the sea.
Remembers the meat hanging in the cooler. Monkeys, gorillas or what they are? Already skinned when they were brought aboard and who know's about them?
But hell singing how much that one of them seemed…
Always when he looked at it and was there an another too.
Hell sing, who knows and separate skinned gorilla from native? Such of giant flat-faced negro?
And tooth it has like humans too, grinning and scull blue without the skin.
But for an arm? God sake for your own arm, hell sing!
Chef turns against the railing and grinning feeling starts to rice from mans chest towards the face. “Not serious for sure they were, just bragging..”
“Who would bind it up? Stitch?” Chef looks at the man in a way he has never seen before such… well has anyone ever… has ? “I dont know”
man says quietly and looks at the chef. “There is nobody here. Nobody else than us and those three Finns and engineer and helper and… skipper,
fresh meat…” Slips out of his mouth and it feels like something else loosens with it, spurts out and it can’t be put back again.
“Fresh meat, yes, yes of course. There's in downstairs that negro meat as much as hell and don’t you try to tell me you don’t know what there is hell!” Chef looks at the man challengingly and eyes are tormented and something tears him up even much more than could ever tear me, man thinks and looks away.
He turns the top open from the bottle.
“50 000!
You know how to make the food”
He looks up and gazes to chefs burning serious eyes.“Hell no!”
“I’ll show you how to flavour it and you look closely and I’ll show you how it should be sewed, it has to been stitched and…”
Chef start explaining and he takes a sip so he would not hear, and when the gulp has gone and the burn from mouth and throat, he starts to realize
and hears even he dont want to and everything starts to appear incoherent and it has some kind of crazy burning sense, something that is burning
in chefs eyes and in his own chest simultaneously with the booze.


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Chef is standing beside the dirty pots and stares him over the steaming full pots “Do you remember now? And tell them and say”
Chef nods waiting for agreement and man looks at the sweaty, dirty forehead and lowers his glance. Chef pushes the cutting board closed and
picks the knife up to the table. “Tomorrow they’ll get soup.”
Man picks the bowls off the table and turns behind the table towards the door. The wind hits him and the warm steam touches him gently and
makes him sick. Chef stands leaning on his hands and the tattoo on his left arm seems blue and old, like a stamp on a side of the Satan’s pig.
“God sakes!” The voice flutters through the door and grasps the wind and man hears it like a seagulls scream and that he is thinking what it is, maybe it is.


Bows go down on the table and benevolent mumble, like a wall of voice, growl, from stomachs and white tooth.
Man feels sick again and fingers stick to bowls and everything rotates in his eyes and I’ll throw up.
Feast on SATAN that then.
“I have a proposition”
Heads turn and the cold wall keeps on rising, night gets stronger. He starts walking towards the door, forget about it.
“Related to what?” loud, tempting voice.
“An arm, an white arm, tomorrow evening. But pay first and in cash, do you got it?”
Silent, white tooth exposure in the dark and mouths open.
“Do you have it?”
“Of course. At three and in my cabin, do you know?”
Man looks at the faces in the dark and directly turns his glance away.
Outside there is fresh air and you can breath.
“I know, at three and 50 000”
Man turns around to head to the door.
“And” that hard voice says.
“Prove, guarantee, the skin
You bring it to me right afterwards.
Ok?”
Man gazes outside and everything gets black and hate and chunk that nearly makes him vomit tickles in his stomach.
“Ok, EMPTINESS”
He steps outside and the door flings shut and he runs down the stairs and vomits.
He does not stop before the bottom deck where nobody can see him and watches with his eyes filled with tears and mouth open
and that mouth is also eating and it flies shut so that something would not get in and taste sweet and smell familiar.
Sweat in his underarms freezes and meat gets stiff and he starts to laugh like crazy.
The thought that came from somewhere within clear and certain, as serious as death itself, rises to his mind.
His own flesh and own tooth, while he bites into it well-done, hot mouth dripping crease, his own steaming arm holding it up
with his other arm, only arm that is left. And he laughs and laughs when he stumbles and falls and keeps on laughing while laying and the steel deck watching the sky twirling around.

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Chef was standing with his back towards him, late in the evening, extremely late, at night, when man went for some sack-fabric to sew.
Something to upholster the cabin, yes, that’s how he figured it out. Chef was standing watching down to his hands while he walked by to the sack-box in the corner of the room.
“DO NOT DARE TO TAKE ALL”
“What’s wrong” Man looked from below, slowly picking up the sack.
“Skipper” Chef said quietly lifting his stare towards the wall. “He has sold his arms… and legs”
Man gets up staring at the chef
“Ye-es” Chef says glancing at him. “That crazy, Satan's crazy”
Chef turns towards the door and goes to the dark windy opening and spits into the night.
“He’ll die straight away. They’ll have time to eat his leg but that’s what he’ll die from.”
Chef leans to the steel frame
“Then he has to be carried down with the others.”
Chef turns around with his eyes flashing and laughs with stony and discordant voice.
“Hangs there eyes pointing to the ceiling, Skipper hanging and he has no skin."
Chef attacks towards man and at the last moment steps away in front of the table.
“ Dont…dont hell. What… what was the price?”
Sweat is on the face, and that he would not feel unless it wasn’t dripping down the nape and the front of the neck.
“What was the price?” Chef picks up the knife and does something with it on the empty table.
“ Not a thing”
“No….?”
“Nothing.”
Chef looks at the man and then up the wall and the ceiling seeing something totally different.
“He redeems himself. That satan will soon be sitting without his other leg and staring that empty spot, and will not have any payment for it, nothing.”
“He lives through the other leg being loosed, yes he’ll live through that too, for some hellish reason I know that too, and he knows that he’ll be carried up there for them to eat, and he sits…”
“SHUT UP!” Man leaves marching with the sack in his hand and the chef, the chef stands in front of he table and keeps on doing some kind of motion with the knife.
Maybe it is just cutting the vegetables, maybe he’s cutting the celery, and won’t cut his finger, never.
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In the cabin, tiny tiny, tight the roof is brown without colour. Outside behind the round window sea is far away, as far as ever.
In mans hand the knife is cutting the skin without scratching the skin.
Tomorrow the first leg.
Chef promised to cook it, said so. Promised to cook a meal.
Chef told up on the deck and in the kitchen this morning, when they as an old habit had gone to kitchen, were about to go pick up the meat from freeze downstairs and…
“Not today!” Had the cabin cleaner shouted from up the overpass bridge.
“No food today, only tomorrow!”
And then the chef had turned to look far away to the sea looking weird; before finally turning back and started to chat away again, slowly first before getting to a full speed.
“… So that they were old and were there some young too, but they are all fond of human flesh for some reason.
Wealthy you ought to be. This has been going on already for five years and who knows what they have been doing before that.
These are, you see, international waters.
Here are no laws, no others than the heavenly law and that does not ban man eating, not to my knowledge anyhow, as long as there is no murder."
"Captain took them aboard already five years ago, when I weren’t even involved.
They bought the ship, at least a part of it, captain sold.
Until then it had been shipping, loads and such stuff.
He is with them. Do you get it? With them up there.” Chef shows with his face in mans mind up to the viewing deck and in mans hand the knife makes a silent cut touching the skin.
“He started to use cocaine then, then he just drank.
When I came aboard it was in Bahamas.
Machinist was keeping charge and hired me to work and we did a little trip as well, freight to Sydney about half a hold.
Then the skipper returned and he was tanned, in a handsome Bahamas-shorts and followed by a big group.
That was my first trip.
I started drinking then… I used to have one of those black kids as a helper and I send him off the boat as soon as I figured out what was going on. It didn’t have time to know anything yet.
As the time went by… I started to drink more.
We had been sailing out on the ocean only for few days until I started to suppose something…
Slowly first and faster and faster series of images flashing, occurring to my mind and totally clearly all at once when I, one evening while cooking dinner, was pulling out those veins and I saw them there front of me finally right everything and… and…”
Chef pours shot down his throat.
“That’s when I went to the cupboard, took out a bottle and started drinking. I drank until I passed out.
I don’t remember a thing. In the morning I was sitting in the kitchen with a hang-over and tried to think about that matter but nothing felt reasonable in this boat anymore and so I decided to go down there once more just to be totally sure about it.
I went down the stairs and walked through the hall to the deepfreezes door and opened it. And the captain was there…
He was standing there all alone, watching the meats hanging from the hooks and he turned around to look at me and that’s when I left.
I ran quickly through the halls up to the kitchen and started drinking.
I drank four bottles of whiskey that day and I were stone cold sober in the evening when I went to look for the captain to quit the job.
…Then I fell. I don’t remember how, but the boat was already far away going further when I realized I was in the waves of the water, in the sea.
And when the captain was standing on the rear deck and shouting, seemed like the whole boat has burst into fire in the sun setting behind it.

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Chef made a new deal with me straight away after that and he looked me into my eyes and do you know what?”
Chef says looking at man and the rags are in sight, tearing and lacerating in its eyes.
“It looked like a human being, it in it's eyes.
I made a new deal, ten times bigger and I made it with a human being.”
Chef looks at the man in a dark room.
“It was the thing with what…”
Then he is quiet and everything is far away, messy, noise out in the sea and the wind.
“ It intends to end, that’s what it’s intends , and hell sings if he is gona drag me into his redemption, hell sings that...”
Everything vanishes to a messy confusion of sounds and the knife stands still against the deck, the bottom of the upper bed.
It dies. The man knows how much the chef is scared that the captain is going to die and drag him to along the depth.
He drags out the knife and watches its blade, how it shines.

He fell overboard, from some boat for some reason.
He drifted on the sea and lost his hope, without food only living in season
That day he got flushed to the shore
When he opened his eyes he saw the land, luxuriant and common.
He quickly found some food and water there,
but not a single human nowhere,
could have told the news
that he started to feel strange things.
Human can live there forever more
Just not to leave its safe shore
and that spell lasted.
Sixteen years and five thousand times
Were repeated those unspeaked rimes
But not once.
He needed a companion and left again
But broke the spell and lost all the gain
opening was only shoreles sea
Further… further again…
human being
mortal


…finally found his way home


Old friends… searching glances
Hasn’t changed at all during these years of ages
What a curse has overcome him?


Found a family
Talked again
Gave everything... to his friend…
Separated finally


Just walked the streets in town
And told everyone of the land how,
Human can live there forever,
Again and again…
Finally he packed his pack's and left again. Sailed off to the sea and never returned
We don’t know for sure but that’s how was born, the ballad of the land of living forevermore

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Lonely light switches on in a room
Naked silhouette stands up against the light in front of the night-table
When tapping the glass it awakens, turns to see
Glowing eyes watch surprised
Shadow swings on the wall and slowly comes towards, lock snaps and door besides opens a little
Eyes watch from the slit
Slowly the door opens more. He stands in front in the dim light naked
Swinging his hair he looks into the eyes. Slowly... he takes a step further
Hips swing…
…Gently hands stretch out, moist lips ajar. Naked skin glows temptingly
Closer, closer… …He comes adhere…
Breath mixes to own
Lips find lips
He pants and squeezes the back. Caressing, tongue slides finding its way in.
Sucks… explores… sucks again
He pants squeezed close


And the reality has begun
It can be heard as clings and bangs from further away and you know there are men at their work already.
It can be felt on a warm night through a fine cover of clouds shining the moonlight.
And reality has begun cold and hard edged while men closer are speaking with despise and merciless about the captain, about him as animal to be slaughtered and only then it start's to feel completely clearly what all the others are already feeling, reality is here, just here and now.
The deck bathes desolated in the moonlight, nobody is to be seen moving there anymore.
Only the cabin cleaner smoking in front of one open door and him too goes inside straight away after seeing movement.
Only he stays here, to watch on the light sea feeling the wind mild and warm on his face.
He stands here the endless sky above him and remembers. And he wanders… gets forgotten far away… into those specific moments long time ago, that forgotten, almost untouched have been left safe in the smooth waters of memories.
And he smiles to those feelings they bring without realising that those kisses has brought them up in him.
Time goes by glowing in the light of the moon and he is in the smooth waters, safe without knowing here in the upper deck.
As the time goes by down on the heat decks shimmering weak bad air.
From deep somewhere from the cabins suddenly inconceivable raw, damp, red floating up to the ventilation deck.
It floats for a moment around as a thick cloud in the air, before slowly starting to dissolve away with the wind, whilst the boat ploughs forward smoothly on the open sea.
But he does not notice it, he is watching over it to the ocean.
He is on a field with a girl who is becoming woman.
In the summer, in memories a long time ago.
They are feeding cows and walk touching their stomachs.
He feels the touches on his hands. Touches on their moist muzzles, hairy sides. Touches on wet lips, without clothes on a naked skin.
It is completely natural, you are allowed to touch, after all it is summer.

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He turns his eyes quickly, without realising what he is doing, he suddenly looks into this moment, just for a blink of an eye but has time to realise it has happened and he walks in his dreams tonight to a another direction.
And on the boats deck the wind blows freely and gentle.
With eyes half shut he wanders, trying to reach some feeling that is slowly moving away and changing deeper. Changing to something gloomy that he had pushed away, but which he discovers being fully out, fully in sight and clearly starting to change to something scary.
And he gets frightened of his observation and watches the sea and the sky and explore the horizon.
For a long time to all the directions, as far as he possibly can rendering the signs, but there is no sign of an approaching storm. And on the boat nobody seems to be moving, on the empty decks nobody is in sight whom to tell that now, in the brightness of the light something has happened, something on the boat feels to have changed faulty permanently.
He glance down over the railing to the boat and there on the empty decks, where nobody moves, he feels the atmosphere has started to change hostile.


..............................................Light
Smoke from the cigarette
Humming of people
In the dim mood light tables and chairs further away. People sit in saloon in the light of the small table lamps talking, eating and
drinking.’
Dark mahogany of a free table shines nearer by.................................................... Waiter glimpses from further away then quickly comes towards.
“Good evening”................He turns to see and to write down what the finger points from the list
A bottle of reddish liquid and the glass is put down to the table
Hands grab to the chair and pull it backwards...............................................The voices around blend to the music and ventilators buzz
.........................The chair touches the back of the knee and is underneath while bending
Glass tinkles and eyes are watching in the dark ahead
The glass rises slowly to lips; liquid swings and diminishes in the glass into half

“If you want anything else, just ask… everything is available”

Moment of silence…
Steps slowly move further…slow down by the next table… and keep on moving ahead

Eyes glimmer ahead in the candle light
Watch asking, warmly (because of the human flesh…)
Toast in the hand rises and song starts to glow. People all around the hall join the song and it arises as mutual beautiful, independent voice
Toast tips to the end (…got the power of love)
From the dark sea behind the windows millions of answers are twinkling around the horizon

People stand up from table and start walking towards the dance floor where couples already whirl

Song strengthens

It glow’s the feeling of adults more beautifully
“Come for a dance!”.................Man bows................................................................a woman is standing further away
You see so much happens in here all the time and we don’t even know about all of it anymore
We can’t even handle all of this... Part of it is so...
Come on... You come along too! You’ll never walk alone!" "Come no...
Do not eat anything here...
Haven’t you heard the story of the disher whom farted in the kitchen of this restaurant so hard that it left a smudge into the air?
It didn’t go anywhere even if they tried to rub it away.
You could even walk through it, but the smudge didn’t disappear anywhere.
Finally some new cook figured out to burn it with a lighter and then it dried out and fell down to his palm. In a impulse he poured the powder into the pot and food started to taste a whole lot better.
He started using it as a spice and when it finally ended, thereafter in this restaurant they have farted to every food and drink.
It is in everything you can find on the menu and you can find more between the lines.

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“Do you know anything about the place we are heading?”
“Something...”
There is that kind of story going around, that a certain man owns it all himself...
The myth tells that during that time the world was almost drowning to the @#%$ that was floating around.
That’s when this man bought huge land-areas of deserts all over the world and founded dump sites there.
He bought out-of-use, old oil-pipe systems that stretched from there, through land and sea all the way to big cities.
He connected them to sewer systems, and every day, every single moment those pipes flow massive amount of worlds waste waters back there to the desert. Imagine, as far as the eye can see, white, virginal sand just to pour the @#%$ on.
All the possible bacteria, @#%$, piss, all that we call useless and dead flows there.
It is very vital, the only thing that manage in there and is able to alter even the desert blooming.
The only thing that can create new life.”
Then starts to be heard that fine song to which everybody join and people begin to dance and that mutual feeling overwhelms us all…
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THE WORLD ARISES AND PEOPLE MAKE LOVE SO THAT THEY WOULD REMEMBER
CHILDREN ARE BEING BORN IMITATING THE WORD ITSELF RISING OUT OF THE HOLE
THAT’S WHEN THE WORLD THINKS AND WE ARE ITS THOUGHTS.

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“Those dump sites are growing up so vigorously and wide area that it has already altered the climate.
They spread themselves.
How far is it now?” Man leans backwards looking at the woman who slowly shrugs her shoulders.
“We’ve heard that they make such deals on those plots that never on anywhere else.
From totally worthless areas they are changing to worlds profitable region. Toast to that!”
“THERE'S NO CHROME'S OF THE LIVE!” Shouts the woman who already starts to be considerably drunk and it looks like her and the man would start leaving already.
“ Us, me and she…” the man says “ Own some land over there. It is near the coast, from a similar area that has given profit of thousand times comparing to its purchase price when it was nothing but desert. We are heading there.”
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“PETER HEY” That salesman shouts
“ COME AND WORK FOR ME! LEAVE EVERYTHING AND GO WITH ME. WE WILL BE RICH.
WE’LL TRAVEL THE WORLD TOGETHER AND MAKE SALES. GREAT TIMES ARE NOW HERE!
IMMEASURABLE WEALTHS ARE DEALT NOW. I NEED A GOOD MAN TO BE MY COMPANION. WHAT DO YOU SAY? ARE YOU AVAILABE?
WE’LL START OFF TOMORROW MORNING AS SOON AS WE GET UP.”
“I’M NOT AVAILABLE”
“WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? I’LL BUY YOU OUT”
Man looks serious important
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“ OH HIM” He says and looks away
Then he picks up his glass, empties it slowly.
He gets up and…
Probably goes to get an another drink.
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“Do you know that ballad about Nobody’s land?
That there really exists a land of eternal life… That it is easy to find by being brave, by throwing himself into the sea and surrendering to be lead by it and so…
on the time of worst distress you are just be driven to its shore
“I want to tell you, that land can also be found by looking if you follow the right tracks.
Perform that ballad to people when you travel the seas of the world.
Ask them if they know it. It might be that they don’t know it or they don’t know what it means, is it true or not, but they’ll listen to it gladly.
But if you keep on going, as the time goes by, a bit by bit, while the months go by you’ll slowly travel deeper.
On some areas you’ll meet people who after you’ve performed the ballad just nod seriously and then quieten.
They’ll invite you into their homes and show you wooden pictures full of engravings, different signs and drawings on pillars, dishes and every-day objects that you’ve never seen before.
If you circulate in the villages you’ll see their life deeper than the scratch. You’ll notice lot more signs about it, just like it would be true. No longer just as a story but in peoples actions and habits, in the subjects they talk and sing about.
Small cemeteries, just a couple of stones on a small hill even if there are hundreds, thousands of people around in small houses build on the hills.
People always happy… In a sunlight something dark bright and full of life.
And one thing, animals are not being killed around there at all.
They are allowed to live freely all around and not before they have first died naturally will they be eaten and use as advantage, similarly as trees and many plants.
So their lifetime has become longer during hundreds, thousands of years.
Even for the humans.
They’ll lead you to it. All the time closer until you don’t have to search anymore, it just emerges all by itself…
It appears from the fog one day and as soon as you see it there you’ll know that’s the land.
That ballad is true.
You see those bays of gulf and white sands and when you wade to the beach, all you feel is deep joy and relief that you had the courage to search and found there. You feel the enormous pleasure feeling all around and you fall in love like that sailor a long time ago. You feel the life running through the veins. I’ll live forever! is all you think and that indescribable feeling of joy overwhelms and will stay from there on all years and you’ll notice you’re not getting older anymore! “Tears are in eyes
“You can find it too! For that you’ll never! Never! are allowed to try it again
You can go there for visit.
You can go there and experience it yourself!
It is wonderful…
You can if you like, then stay there yourself too” Face is blushing of embarrassed and eyes are measuring the floor.

The sky is star bright and the moon shines white above almost perfectly round.
Far away in the sky the thunder is rumbling and lightning’s are flashing above the black and foamy storming sea.

In the beam of the moon its white dust is floating in the air and the dampness accumulate around the particles.
Their drops formulate into clouds, million tonnes of water mass sails in the sky like being hold up by an invisible force. It is a powerful force of the nature.
When these kind of masses hit into each other, such a heat and pressure is being born that the gas explodes and burst to all directions lightning and that’s when the rain falls.
It’s like some kind of greater creature rising to the seen from the darkness.
It talks to us about things that are about to be born and which we can’t control no longer.
The world is growing. Faster and faster it is emerging. It grows allready in there where the tears are born and it’s alive! It is alive!
When those desserts have started growing.
When those dumpsters have spread even wider, slowly the globe has been started to rise.
I’ve been watching it for a long time and noticed it while watching the stars.
They keep on moving all the time slowly by more below.
We are rising upward
“Look….” It points with finger directly upward.
We are heading there …

“It is beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Like a woman”

It stares directly up frozen to its place and goes all weird looking “…Could it be so?”
That that black wall is the inner surface of some larger creature.
…And even the sun burning below is a part of it’s organism” It stares up
Something similar than us…
See, even the globe has been a part of it
A rock that break of the wall
And fell with a another one… They have twirled around each other and started to develop life...
................. …Yes…
It is like the womb of a enormous creature… Sun and stars shine and warm and give energy and light inside here and we slowly grow bigger…
Until we are ready to be born
…And now we are rising..”
It slaps on the shoulder weird, half laughing and grinning
It staggers and picks it’s pockets
“…I’ll smoke a cigar…”
It lids the cigarette and looks up to the sky again.

We are heading there…
To that land… Aren’t we?

THE CLOUDS COVER THE SKY AND THE WIND KEEPS ON BLOWING HARDER
SURGES ARE RISING FROM THE SEA AND DARKNESS COVERS EVERYTHING DEEPERING QUICKLY
THE AIR BRINGS VIBRATION WITH IT, HOT AND BEAUTIFUL, WEAKENING ANG STRONGERING THEY GET CLOSER, PASS BY AND TAKE WITH THEM. THE WIND RUSHES DRAGING AND QUICKLY TWIRLS ALREADY BEHIND. OVER THE WHIRLS AND SURGES RISING AND SPEEDING HIGHER AND THE SONG GLOWS IN THAT. IT SPEEDS IN THE AIR AS A PART OF IT AND WITH IT, HE STARTS SINGING. THE VOICE BURSTS OUT OF HIS LIPS GROWING QUICKLY TO A STRONG VOICE, THAT RISES UP ALONE AS ITS OWN INDEPENDENT VOICE, HARMONIZING STILL TOGETHER WITH ALL THE OTHER SOUNDS THOSE ARE RISING FROM THE HALL, ROOM WITH GLASSWALLS, IN FRONT OF WHICH’S DOOR HE IS STANDING. AND IN THE HALL THE SONG IS GLOWING CONFIDENCE OF LOVE . IT IS GETTING STRONGER AND HIS VOICE RISES ABOVE ALL THE OTHER GALLANT AND BEAUTIFUL

BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY KNOWN EVERYWHERE!
FROM HUMAN FLESH YOU GET THE POVER OF LOVE!
AND HE STEPS IN THE DOOR AND SEES HOW THEY ALREADY ARE EATING.


A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN FROM HIS DREAMS IS LAYING ON THE TABLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM TIED DOWN AND IN THE HALL IT SMELLS PRIMITIVE SMELL OF FEAR, SWEAT AND BURNING BLOOD.
AND IT STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN!
IT IS SHIVERING INSENSIBLE LIKE RIPPED TATTERED TORN SOUL AND GROIN IS IN THEIR MOUTH AND OH GOOD GOD. IT COMES AGAIN!! AND AGAIN!! WOMANS BODY TREMBLES LIKE FORE SOME UNKNOWN FORCE
SHIVERING IT BENDS AND TREMBLES ON THE TABLE AND THOSE MOUTHS CHANGE AND AGAIN IT STARTS FEEL DEEP, SO DEEP THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT THAN FIERY FLESH AND THE BURNING BLOOD AND THIS SINGLE MOMENT.
AND THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SCREAMS FROM THE FULL OF HER SOUL, BECAUSE FROM THIS THERE IS NO MORE SURVIVAL AND THIS IS THE END.
THOSE MOUTHS RISE AND FALL BLOODY AND HER MOVEMENTS ENCOURAGE THEM TOWARDS THE END AND THE SOUND IT MAKES QUIDES THEM EVEN DEEPER WITH ITS SHRILLS AND LOWS, RISING AND FALL, DEEPER INTO MORE SENSITIVE BODY PARTS.
WHILST THAT ANIMAL IS SCREAMING WITH MORE DISTRESS AND SHRILL EVERY TIME TEETH HITS ONTO SOMETHING VITALLY IMPORTANT,SENSITIVE DESTROYING IT, WHILST THE FLOATING BLOOD FLOWS BURNING INTO THEIR MOUTHS, IT ALL CRASHES, EXPLOADES SUDDENLY SPLASHING RED, OVERWHELMINGLY SPRAYING INTO THEIR MOUTHS
IT COMES! IT COMES! THE END COMES!
THE END. TOOTH TEAR. BIG PART OF HER DISSAPEARS AND THE YOUNG WOMAN BENDS UPWARDS TO A CURVE DEMANDING MURDER.
WITHOUT EVER REVENGING IT, FOR HERSELF, JUST FOR HERSELF FIGHTING. DEMANDING IT LIKE SHE HAS BEEN DEMANDING EVER SINCE SHE WAS BORN AND THEY ANSWER, BLOODY MOUTHS TEAR MORE.
MAN STEPS BACKWARDS WITHOUT REALIZING WHAT HE SEES. HE MOVES BACK TO THE DOOR STAGGERING, UNABLE TO TURN HIS EYES AWAY FROM THAT ANIMAL, ITS SUFFERING, ITS RED BODY AND HOW IT'S BEEN EATEN.
HOW IT TURNS SUDDENLY ON ITS SIDE, STARTING WITH EYES WANDERIND TO LOOK INTO THE ROOM AND ITS LOOK IS NAKED, TOTALLY NAKED.


“TONIGHT WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO ENJOY GOOD FOOD
I ASK YOU TOO TO RESPECT WHAT YOU ARE EATING THEREFORE THAT IT HAS BEING BORN OUT OF PAIN AND TRYING, ENDLESS URGE TO LIVE AND GROW AND LEARN TO KNOW MORE. THAT’S WHY THIS FOOD CONTAINS A VERY GREAT STRENGTH, BECAUSE IT HAS KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM THAT GIVES HUMAN GREAT ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING AND ALSO TO LIVE VERY FAR TO THE FUTURE.

“DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER?”

“DO YOU WANT TO GIVE THE SAME OPPORTUNITY TO OTHERS TOO?”

“DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL WITH ME TO THE UNKNOWN, WHERE THE SEA OF THE WORLD TAKES US AND WHERE NEW LIFE BEGINS?”

“ON THIS JOURNEY WE WILL ALSO EXPERIENCE TERROR AND WE’LL LEARN A LOT MORE ABOUT OURSELVES, BUT DON’T LET IT ALONE GUIDE YOUR WAY BUT FIND OUT ALSO ABOUT THINGS OUTSIDE US, THAT’S WHEN YOU’LL FIND THE TRUTH.”

EAT DEAR PEOPLE, EAT AND FEEL THE REALITY OF THE WORLD OPENING IN FRONT OF YOU

The ship heels over even more and man stumbles falling straight through the window with hand first.
The glass slits open his wrist and blood starts to float already when the splinters of glass are still falling to the deck.
Wind starts to blow into the room, making the candles flicker and blowing them out.
From the broken window far away on the deck somebody is standing up on the railing and leaning onto a pillar and it looks just like... “CHEF !!” Pieces of glass keeps on falling down on the deck and more wind gets in blowing out the candles, leaving the room into darkness.
“CHEFFF !” he sees some kind of movement in the figure, possibly turning back to see, but then nothing else is to be seen.
He starts to sink weakened from the loss of blood and turns to face the room with his hand in his mouth swallowing his own running blood .
Figures pass by and the sound of the door being opened can be heard and figures go out and the wind can fly in freely through the room. He sinks deeper into darkness and wind blows inside and straight through the viewing room, over the large table taking everything loose to fly with it. And he sinks to darkness, blackness without knowing what happened to the woman and to that love he suddenly from that room found.

On the railing Peter Greenway turns to see with shirt hanging, holding his stomach.
He hears how in the background voices shout death and turns to look ahead to the sea and everything is loose in the head, terrible pandemonium in the middle of wich the sea is still, waves going as trains on their tracks. He would leave too.
He has done enough for its part, yes he has done enough for its part.
He feels how the ship is swinging and swaying and then in the head something really starts to get loose.
All he sees is green swelling sea boiling in front of him and vomits. And it talks at the same time. He just vomits and It shoves into his head making him feel sick with all those words “Chef.”
“Now it is time to come, chef, now its time” Yes it is, he sobs
And the time to come is now. He climbs to the edge and like crawling and now when the sea is in front he remembers how it happened then. Just the captain is missing and the Voice that started to come from somewhere. They had been standing on the deck talking,looking each other when he heard it starting to come “ TIME COMESCOMES TIME !” echoing thousand times that hideous Voice and it seemed like the captain too...
and the chef had heard how the captain had shouted after him, when he had turned away and went overboard.
“Chef” quiet voice behind him.
It’s Him...
“CHEF!!”
It’s Martin, Martin God help!
He turns to see.
NO... I can’t handle this I go now
He loosens his grip
(Unless I’ll make food...proper food not the same)
Hell I won't handle it in my senses! (I’ll make food)... he speaks tenderly and hands go down griping the pole
(I’ll cut seller, milk, cheese)
Yes, I’ll put milk, warm...
I’ll make it, hell he sobs
He stands with legs shaking and whole body like in torpor, and he is not able to say anything anymore.
He loosens his grip suddenly and jump and even while falling grabs onto the lowest railing and smash onto the side.
The hand holds and he swings, sways while the ship is whining, staring the sea storming below.
The machinist runs already close on the deck, when chef hears and sees in front of him captain shouting mad, when it swings and struggles tied on the bed while he is cutting off the leg with force. The whole satan's knife bouncing slippery in his hands, its body shaking and struggling with sudden movements on the bed frantically tossing.
He pushes with all his weigh and the scream bursts straight out of its mouth, hideous mindless voice that is His, His who influences through us humans without us being able to prevent it.
It shouts all the time when machinist is holding on to the upper body trying to prevent it from swinging and he presses down, down satan loosening its leg and the stump bleeds awfully lot of blood on the mattress “CHEF FOR GOD SAKE!” Machinist grabs between the railings on to the hand, ice cold fist that is squeezing the rod of the railing while the body is swinging in the emptiness
“Chef come up from there, I...I’ll...help you”
The machinist Rohme is lying on his stomach grabbing with his both hands onto the woollen jumper covered arm.
“Chef try to get your other hand here” The machinist lies with his head outside, tightly holding on to the woollen jumper. Chefs hand has turned totally white, he is hitting himself over again hard on the side of the ship. The ship is loose, either the wind has turned or there nobody on the helm anymore, anyway chef swings far on a wide curve every time the ship heels over, hitting himself on the side of the ship coming back
“Chef...try in hell....” That’s when chef turns his glance for a moment up and says something incomprehensible


Then he suddenly goes all slack and only hangs on the grip of the machinist.
Machinist strains suddenly all his strengths and enormously exerting with a quick movement pulls the slack body half on the deck and is able to pull it totally from there to lie on the deck.

He looks at it panting for a while.
It is breathing and its eyes are open but...
Its all slack and...
(breathless)

Men are running to the place and that’s when Rohme gets up and starts running back along the deck and up the stairs to the helm which is now twirling like mad, so that the whole ship wouldn’t tip over now when it’s free hold back by nobody

Men start to pick up chef and start to carry him, the slack body that stares with its eyes open and they hate it. Something deeply disgusting in its living dead weight and dull swaying head.

And in the viewing room man wakes up
There are splinters of glass everywhere and the wind blows straight in from the broken window.
Woman has crawled on top of his stomach and is lying there unconscious and covered all over with a dried blood.
He lays his hand on the naked, blood stained back and feels he is catching up something
(touch) her hair (touch) the skin and make her miss it, the touch of that hand,
forever

And he can’t help himself, whenever he touches a woman he feels a presentiment of love growing more deep inside him.
.

.

.

And ship keeps on sailing
When a lifeboat unfastens from its side,
Quickly starting to stay behind
while the ship keeps on going, following the night,towards the dark horizon and the centre of the darkness

.

.

Morning starts to shine through the foggy sky.
Just a lonely boat on the waves of the sea, endless movement of water. And there is nothing to eat, just a canfood and it’s meat.
He won’t eat immediately, not for a long time. Not even then when the hunger is enormous, not until later and thoughts, wandering, hot,
hazy fade then away when he is eating. Gorillas meat, Sheep's meat, even the pig has intelligence and it gets eaten. Bovine gives birth and its calf dies.
It is so old, it is so old, only eats grass anymore and the sun is shining, it i
s summer on the field.


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Arto Nieminen


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